


Nonexistent

by A_Beautiful_Beast



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean and Sexuality, Fluff, Gabriel Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Off-Screen Resolved Sexual Tension, Pre-Slash, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1417234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Beautiful_Beast/pseuds/A_Beautiful_Beast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel can't find it anywhere, and believe him, he's looked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nonexistent

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a Tumblr post that I can't fully remember. 
> 
> * While I'm all for Destiel, I wouldn't want it canonized. It would throw off the feel of the show, in my opinion. However, if the writers had Dean come out as anything but straight (Bi! Bi! Bi!), I'd probably throw a party.
> 
> ** And I hate parties.
> 
> *** Also, I really, really, really freakin' hate present tense.

It was quiet in the bunker.

'Was'.

As in past tense.

As in isn't anymore.

As in there's currently a hyperactive, mentally five-years-old archangel parading about like he hasn't just come back from the dead ten minutes ago, cracking jokes at everyone's expense with a red vine hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Somehow, Gabriel's ended up on the table, head resting on his folded hands and legs kicking the air, looking a bit like one of the girls from Dean's magazine of choice—except, of course, fully clothed and male.

"What—I—how the hell are you alive?" Sam splutters after a while.

"And what are you doing  _here_?" Dean adds with a scowl.

Gabriel rolls over to his back, dramatically draping an arm over his forehead. "I'm sorry," he says with an air that suggests he really isn't sorry at all. "I tried. I really did. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find it!"

"Couldn't find what?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I checked every little corner of every dimension I could think of," Gabriel continues, as if Sam hasn't spoken. "Hell, I even checked Pandora. I flew halfway across the universe, but I still didn't see or hear a thing about it." He shakes his head.

"What are you talking about?" Castiel interrupts.

Gabriel's expression turns serious—or as serious as someone like Gabriel can be, which really isn't very serious at all. "I mean it. I did my best to look for it, but now I'm thinking that maybe it didn't even exist in the first place! I spent a little while around the three of you, y'know, and I didn't see much sign of it anywhere."

"Gabriel," Sam says with a roll of his eyes and Bitchface™ #27. "What were you looking for?"

He smirks; a sly quirk of the lips that practically screams 'Trickster'. "Dean's heterosexuality. I looked everywhere for it, but I didn't see it anywhere. Really. Looks like you, my friend, are one-hundred-percent not straight." Gabriel winks and turns to Castiel. "Which is good luck for you, little bro, because I'm sure Sammy here is getting sick of watching you two have eye sex every twenty seconds."

And if Dean punches him so hard the bones in his fist break, that isn't his fault.

If Dean also ends up magically locked in a closet with Cas—sans pants and a shirt but his boxers intact (because Gabriel's a dick, but not that much of a dick)—no less than an hour later, well, that isn't his fault either.


End file.
